mspgay: snorlaxatives: snorlaxatives: aaaaalrighty-then: snorlaxatives: why is being alive so expensive You spelled “suck” wrong. ??????????????????????????????? i literally can’t even tell what you’re trying to say why is being alive so suck why is being alive suck why is suck suck is being alive so expensive why suck so expensive ?????
wafflesforstephanie: bringbacklianharper: the-lron-butt: babyminaj: My favorite Oscar of the night bitch please make room for the Grammys Tumblr was invented just for this pun. I shouldn’t be laughing as much as I am.
mistressfeferi: hopelessbaka: at least gravity is attracted to me
vaspim1fag9392bitch383slut: When I die do the cinnamon challenge with my ashes
katherlne: notoriousmks: katherlne: katherlne: “you have van gogh’s ear for music” hahaha follow for more seventeenth century impressionist-painter burns I just got a sudden wave of new followers I really hope you guys aren’t expecting more seventeenth century impressionist-painter burns i’ll pay monet for them
RILEY ✌: thegirl-inred: toned-tanned-fit-andready:... →
thegirl-inred: toned-tanned-fit-andready: v0nlaust: caliiforniadreaming-xo: gothicstan: localised: do you ever get the urge to get up in the middle of the night while everyone else is fast asleep and just walk places and to be completely alone and entirely…
revivingpeeta: tumblr ruined my life but made it better somehow
blowmeblaine: blowmeblaine: blowmeblaine: the worst thing is when you have crumbs in your bra also when there are crumbs in your keyboard and the keys wont work right the two most important things in every girl’s life the boobs and the laptop
Tumblr app: I'm done loading
Me: but what about all these blank pictures and gifs
Tumblr app: did I fucking stutter
me: i'm just going to rest my eyes for 5 minutes.
me: wakes up march 27th, 2098.
theyellowbrickroad: I’m the type of person who looks at the menu for five minutes but ends up ordering the same exact thing every time
jimmyjamjimjohn: rubywhiterabbit: One day we’ll be in a Marvel movie, sitting there as something doesn’t feel right. and as the credits start to roll we’ll know what it is. It will flash up on screen and our hearts will break. “In loving memory of Stan Lee”. There was no cameo in that movie. And there never will be again.
tempoes: everyone says “just get out and leave everything behind in the event of a house fire” like no fuck that shit im grabbing every electronic i can hold
unfollower: pausequoi: samandriel: if you don’t think history is amusing then you’re wrong because one time 3 different guys declared themselves pope all at once and they all excommunicated each other and it was basically the funniest shit ever what about that time the Lichtenstein army sent 80 men to Italy to fight and came back with 81 what about the time when a guy tried to...
homleschapel: summer is real cute until every fuckin type of insect comes out of the 8th circle of hell
if you’re having a bad day just remember that someone somewhere is making dildos in a factory
so my best friends Amazing Overlord Jenna and the less amazing tori—or tiro i don’t remember her name oh well—and I are making those apple lattice things and they be lookin’ FOINE
i’m a butthead ;9
i just had phanal in the back of toris car
im a giant turd burger who doesn’t know how to entertain three people and i suck at carving apples that is all
just doing a little bit of naked blogging after the shower before my friends come over and I’ll feel obliged to wear clothes again…
thedramaticsneeze: hoshigumayuugi: i actually like being up early i just don’t like getting up early YOU PUT THIS IN WORDS